If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
