dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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