i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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