He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I could fuck to npr.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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