wakey wakey hands off snakey
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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