it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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