giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
