Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
