Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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