Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
