we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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