I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
