theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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