if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
