Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
