do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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