even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
