she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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