she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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