You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
