My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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