Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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