You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
