a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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