I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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