She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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