I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
