Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
