a search helicopter?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
