you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize