did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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