wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
