Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
