I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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