I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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