none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
