I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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