You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
