you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
