walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
