walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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