In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
