I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize