Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize