i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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