i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
