it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
