Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
