I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
