I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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