This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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