Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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