so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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