My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
