My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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