We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
