I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
