I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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