Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
