If that was your dad, he is hot
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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